sailing through menopause

Madeline is 53, divorced and living alone after raising three children. She's presently unemployed and isn't too fussed about her job prospects, believing that a job will come along soon, and in all respects she is semi-retired.

"I laugh when I hear people complaining about how things have changed - how corporate cowboys are ruining our economy, how young people are taking over the workplace, how foreigners are taking over our country, how prices are going up, how drugs are taking over our cities and how moral standards are dropping," says Madeline.

"I'm not exactly ecstatic about these things either," confesses Madeline, "but if there's one thing I've learned in my life it's that survival depends upon adapting to change and making the best of whatever life throws at me."

"Any sailor will tell you that you've got to tack if you want to sail and that means bending to the wind and adapting to it."

"Adapting to change doesn't necessarily lead to a better life," sighs Madeline, "but it sure as hell leads to a happier life - one free of the bitter and twisted thoughts that eat at the insides of people who resist change."

"Our lives are in constant flux," says Madeline. "Our body cells replenish themselves daily. Nothing remains the same - nothing - and the only sure fire way of surviving and keeping happy is to adapt to change as quickly as you can."

"So far, my greatest adaptation has been menopause," confides Madeline. "It happened about the same time as a study was being conducted into why Nature allows women to continue living after their childbearing function ends."

"The study concluded that post-menopausal women only had value as grandmothers," laughs Madeline, "and because I didn't have any grandchildren the presumption was that I had no value - and this hurt!"

"Also, at the same time, my husband and I had grown so far apart that we were virtual strangers living under the same roof," explains Madeline. "I initiated divorce in response to what I perceived as being a living death - my husband's as well as my own - and although it was very difficult for us both to adapt to single life after being married for so long it had to be done for survival purposes."

"At one stage he wanted us to get back together," laughs Madeline, "but getting back together would have benefited him more than it would me. Married men tend to live longer than single men, but single women live longer than anyone!"

"The purpose of life as far as I am concerned," says Madeline, "is to live a long and happy life - and I aim to live to at least 100 - whether or not I am perceived by male sociologists as having no 'natural value'!"

"I am only going to live that long - and be happy living that long - if I adapt myself constantly to what is happening around me and do what is good for me."

"I never bend to anyone's will - unless my life is at stake," says Madeline, "but I do bend to social forces because changes can happen very quickly and if we're not taking everything on board and becoming part of the change we can get left behind to rot."

"I also laugh at people who are amassing fortunes and property in fear that there won't be anything left in years to come," says Madeline. "I own a little apartment but I'd give it up in a flash if my life depended upon getting out of the city."

"It's not a very successful life if you die a rich and powerful property tycoon at 60 with a heart attack, is it?" asks Madeline.

"You can't adapt easily if you're carrying too much baggage," laughs Madeline, "so I tend to be more like a fruit fly than a mammoth!"

"The less body weight, possessions and ties I have the easier I can adapt to change and survive," says Madeline. "And I am productively using the free time I have between jobs to de-clutter my life."

"Charles Darwin figured it all out in the 1800s," says Madeline, "but thanks to medical science even the un-fittest of the human species can survive these days - but only if they can adapt to whatever medical intervention they need to follow in order to survive."

"Right now I'm adapting to a lot of new things," says Madeline. "Surviving the layoff frenzy a few years ago brought out a bit of ingenuity in me!"

"I learnt to economize for the first time in my life and rather than bleating about living in poverty I enjoyed it so much that I still economize even though I don't have to any more!"

"I'm learning the language and customs of the ethnic groups moving into my area because if I don't adapt to these people I won't have anyone living locally to call a friend in the future."

"I'm eating different food - because it's cheaper - much of it is ethnic - and it's great!"

"I got rid of expensive cable and I'm listening to radio - and it's great too!"

"These are just some of my major adaptations," laughs Madeline, "and if I need to make more then I'll bend with the wind and do what needs to be done - and do it willingly."

"The adaptation I probably need most in this drug-infested city is eyes in the back of my head," says Madeline, "and it's interesting that genetic adaptation is now being created for us by technology. Rather than growing eyes in the back of our heads to adapt to our environments we are appending gadgets to our bodies."

"There's a sprightly elderly gentlemen in my block who doesn't have money problems so he's going the exact opposite route to me in terms of adapting," laughs Madeline. "He thrives by buying up new technology and gadgets as soon as they come on the market and he really gets a kick out of pretending he's Dick Tracy with his video wrist telephone."

"There are other elderly people in this block - just as wealthy as Dick Tracy - who haven't adapted to the 1980s let alone the 2000s," sighs Madeline, "and they're as miserable as sin about the new world order."

"For all I know the miserable couples may outlive Dick Tracy," laughs Madeline, "but after you've reached 80 the quality of your life takes precedence over the length of your life."

"I don't believe that the sole natural purpose of life is to procreate," says Madeline. "If it were then nature would not have allowed for homosexuality. No, we're all here to become all that we are capable of becoming and successfully adapting to the constant changes around us is vital for that purpose."

Madeline's story first appeared as adapt or perish and is reprinted with permission.